COCONUT - THE NEWEST FRUITCROP OF ILLINOIS !!

Many people may not be aware that Illinois, besides being one of the largest producers or corn,and soybean is also known for its fruit!! We grow some of the finest apples in the country and the lovely southern part of our state offers us some of the most tasty Peaches in the world.

But, we are gearing up for something even more exciting. Yes, you've heard it here, we are now cultivating a completely new fruit. THE PLAINS COCONUT. Who says California, and Hawaii are the only Coconut producing states? AND - being smart people - we are killing two birds with one stone. Not only are we producing this lovely new and exotic fruit, BUT, we are using the tree as a way to decorate our wonderful new Baseball Stadium. Now, we haven't quite figured out a way to keep the trees growing through the winter months, but this is our 4th season of trying and there's just no stopping us!!

On our first photo, you can see the hard working men preparing to sink the new Coconut trees into the fertile and sometimes frigid midwestern loam. In the foreground you can see the unfortunate victims of the previous years attempt to grow the "Plains Coconut" through the winter months. We midwesterners are NOT QUITTERS!!

As you can see from above, the new and lovely baseball stadium - the home of THE PEORIA CHIEFS - is really blossoming with the addition of the Plains Coconut Tree. Our team will soon be spoken of in the same light as those other baseball powerhouses in such places as Bali, Hawaii, Fiji, and the Canary Islands! I mean, who connects baseball to Walnut or Oak? Geeze!

	Ahhh.. here we go. The following are a series of photographs for all you Coconut Tree Planting "green thumbers" to show you the best procedure to use in planting these hearty Nordic Nut Trees. 1. First, a crane with an assistant
	2. It's important that your assistant be gentle with the nordic nut tree. What he's holding is the life force of this wonderful timber.   3. In the photos below you can see the love and care necessary for these technicians to accomplish their task.

This unique process has created quite a stir in this quaint midwestern town. Why, looking below I think I see a news crew that has come to ask the manager of the Peoria Chiefs just how this unique feat is accomplished (And no doubt to enquire about the economic possibilities of utilizing this new "cash crop." The word of mouth is that the city fathers are thinking about using the local homeless people as "hunter gatherers" in scooping up the precious golden "nuts". AND, with the City Mission across the block, there will no doubt be plenty of people to employ!).

Ahhh yes, here we are. This will make a great scoop for the 10:00 news. After all, we can take a break from George Bush and Emron for one day can't we?. After much anticipation, it is time to see the end result (Drum Roll.). I keep having this theme music for a James Mitchner novel going through my head, so... I can tell this is already having an affect on me!!

Above left you can see the "magic" ingredient to successfully planting Palm Trees in Illinois. Muddy Illinois River SAND (We all hope the tree is fooled. Elvis's BLUE HAWAII plays in the background while planting.).

Below, you can that the city has hired its very own "Shaman of Palms" Willie York, who casts spells that God willing - the trees live until the last inning of the last game in July. The "chickenbone" necklace is said to have magic powers of fertility. Unfortunately our shaman misplaced his opossum pelt AND the blue skin coloring he usually wears for these events. BUT, do note the "cobra snake" head forged from aluminum foil on his turban. I wonder if he was influenced by THE FINCHLEY BOYS concerts decades ago (Inside Illinois reference).

As the sun fades down on the Mid coast of the Illinois river, one can only think of offering thanks to the men in white shirts and ties who's brilliant idea it was to initiate this new cash crop. I can hear you cynics going on about the fact that for the last three years these trees are usually dead by mid July! But,who knows, maybe this will be the year? AND... the Cubs year as well!!

BESIDES, can any of you "smarties" out there think of anything better to do with $20,000.00?

Oh, by the way, as seen in the truck bed on the right, if anyone has any need for dead Palm Wood, Please contact O'Brien Stadium during business hours. Those of you planning a carpentry project for the future, can place your name on a list for next years crop of wood! I guess I'm a pessimist.

"Ya know, I wonder how a Palm wood guitar would sound?   "Hmmmmmmmmmmmm"

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Paul Adams along with Ray Charles trumpeter David Hoffman has a music label of 9 albums of various types of music. Both have many outside interests. David is blowing Jazz just about everywhere when not touring, and Paul likes to write Compose Music and sell his albums. He also writes Poetry and Stories, and builds Musical Instruments